What Doesn't Kill You Only Makes You Stronger

Choices, Blame, Acceptance & Forgiveness

It's been almost 2 years since my last post and I want to bridge the gap by sharing intimate details of my life with you all.  The past 2 years have been filled with nothing but laughter, joy & pain.  However, I learnt some key things about choices, acceptance, blame and forgiveness.  There's no shame in my game because I take on the occurrences of life as challenges instead of problems.

I have laughed hard & laughed with tears in my eyes but I'm thankful for all the experiences because it has made me realize that the growing pains of life will do only 2 things: "make me" or "break me." I gave birth to another precious gift from God, started a new job, changed my zip code and I'm living & loving every moment of it all.  Along the way, of course there were individuals who were ruthless (y'all know who you are) who worked earnestly to turn my world upside down but my love for God, patience and perseverance prevailed.

I want to ask y'all 2 questions: "Do you live by making choices?" or "Do you live your life by default to being a victim of circumstances?"  Fyi, if you chose the latter, did you realize that varying degrees of choices were made? What separate the 2 is perception and acceptance.  Your acceptance determines how well you will deal with the outcome or consequences of your actions (choices).

We dismiss choice when things don't work in our favor and start the blame game.  The only thing we will accept is how much we have been victimized with no recollection of our active involvement when we were making decisions that would impact our lives so negatively.  We also find comfort placing all the blame on all possible variables (people & circumstances) without first evaluating the only constant in the equation which is "self."

Despite how much we want to play the blame game, its indeed a process to move from our past and accept the "Now."  There is a lack of accountability for our actions as well as negligence and issues of morality involved when we use blame to cope with our shortcomings.  Acceptance, however, can lead to forgiveness and moving forward. 

Our strongest conviction comes when its time to forgive because its our moment of truth; letting go of all the blame, hurt and pain that is inflicted by the poor choices made.  Forgiveness can also be the most challenging because of how badly we are wounded or how much guilt we bear.  We are not humanly capable to allow ourselves to enjoy a life of peace & comfort all on our own by forgiving others or ourselves.

As a result, we will lead a life of the past-"living in the past"; withholding ourselves from the life that was intended for us.  We will convince ourselves to believe that life won't/can't get any better because we certainly don't know what our lives would be like if we had a renewed sense of mind and a fresh start.