WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT YOUR MAN NEEDS YOU?

We all know the difference between a need and a want, right?  A ‘need’ is an essential and a necessity while a ‘want’ is a desire or a wish for something by definition.  Can you really tell the difference when a man needs you or he just wants to fulfill his desires or maybe both?  Of course the answer doesn’t lie in what he says but it will definitely show through his undeniable actions.  The magnitude of a man’s needs vs. his wants is not as obscure as we are led to believe but it’s rather quite simple and uncomplicated.

Man’s indulgence is to experience all fun filled desires marked by escapades in conjuncture to appeal, poise and dire interest into the unknown. 

“While lonely skirts grow weary of the unfathomable distance between to love and being loved, a man’s interest surfaced at its highest peak.  He is seemingly quite at ease in coming to the rescue all the time yet never enthused to gain an awareness of what the consequences of his lustful actions will be.  The unbearable stress that follows: the demands of responsibilities, commitment, and ploy are all orchestrated by him, which also comes as a surprise or a mystery because thinking is a kill joy in every moment of opportunity for him.”~Www Think out Loud

It’s no surprise that a man needs a wife; someone possessing love, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, courage, strength, and the will to bear all things.  Will all these qualities show up all in one package? I highly doubt that but one thing is for certain that when he do believe that he had found the one he will never let her go.  I have been with my husband for 13 years to date and have been through many ups & downs: infidelity, and other disagreements that led to mistrust and unforgiveness but have never quite wrapped my head around some of the real issues.  In most recent times, I question “if he’s not happy with me and seek outside the relationship (marriage), why is he still with me?  Why does he still want to be around me?

For a woman in my position many might assume and pass harsh judgements as far as thinking that I am naïve, stupid and too patient to deal with a man who have shown a lack of respect and love (cheated).  Ladies, I have finally realized that it doesn’t take an ordinary woman to possess staying power, especially after infidelity but it is the unassuming behaviors of the “other women” that seem to drive him right back into my arms despite what has led him astray in the first place.  On that note, in a kind of sarcastic way, “I thank you Ladies for the much needed effort on your part.”

Not to be misleading to anyone and misconstrue any negative ideas and thoughts regarding infidelity but I want to make it clear that this is by no means justifying unfaithful behaviors but its just an insight into the minds and actions of the other women vs. the guy.  Here are 3 things that the other woman does that drives him away from her and back into wifey’s arms:

Asking a man how he feels about you.  It seems like a very logical idea to ask such a question and in reality if a man wants anything from you what do you think his typical response is going to be?  Of course, he is going to tell you what you want to hear.  Hearing the words, “I Love You” carry no weight if a man is married and living with his family so wake up ladies and send his butt home (pun intended) if you are looking for more than a fling.

Being the initiator.  I can’t stress it enough that we are only required to “be” with a man; we don’t have to “do” anything to move the relationship along.  Understand this Ladies, your man is the Executive Director of the relationship so please demote yourself if you thought that you need to push things along, sit in the back seat and let the man drive.

There’s no need to initiate affection and sex, dinners at your place, doing anything to jumpstart the relationship, or advertise the relationship (Yes, take down those Facebook statuses of being in a relationship and let him initiate such things).  Remember, if a man sees you as the one, he will have no problem professing his Love for you. (**wink, wink**)

Chasing a guy literally by calling him too much.  Unless it’s an emergency, you don’t need to call a guy because guess what if he’s in too deep, he will do all the calling.  Why would you need to call a guy to tell him about something that caught your attention, you are upset because you haven’t been hearing from him or you’ll be late for work (Honey, you dialed the wrong number because your guy could care less about your attendance issues).

That’s why we have girlfriends to share the petty the stuff with Ladies.  A man might be busy thinking about how he’s going to sweep you (or his wife) off your (her) feet and there you go interrupting the flow of things by telling him things that he has no interest in, never asked, or had no business knowing in the first place.

All these things make a woman appear needy and & clingy which is a big turn off for men. For most men who will not openly walk away from you, you will one day realize that he doesn't value you or the relationship and neither is he committed to you because he was not given the opportunity to allow things to fall in line where it made sense to him.  Instead you led him literally and he followed through with you on something you wanted more than he ever did.

Ladies, we need to STOP complaining and DOING; and START living and BEING.