The #1 reason why he's not listening to you

“I try so hard to keep this family together, cooking, cleaning, making myself attractive and sexually appealing, being all the Mom that my kids need;” “ I’m his ‘ride or die chick’ is a mere understatement of all the things I have done for this man.”   “The only thing I expect in return is a lil Love, appreciation and respect.”   “Is that too much to ask for?”  

I’m 110% sure I’m not the only one who have uttered those words, carried those uncertainties and set certain expectations when it comes to dealing with a man.  It is frustrating, stressful and most of all painful to see you reaching out to the one you Love but to no avail, he just seems not so interested anymore and the fear of him looking elsewhere and better yet leave only spike feelings of greater fear and loss.

Good news ladies, there is remedy for this situation and it’s quite simply put: “Just shut up those feelings and emotions that are destructive to you, your man and your relationship!”  Hahaha! Whew! It was so easy to say those words and it felt darn good saying it too but who am I kidding, right? (LOL)  “Yeah, yeah easier said than done, innit?”  

How can you ignore the fact that he has hurt your feelings time and time again; he said he’s sorry but he does it again and again and again?  “You know what?”  “I give up; I’m just going to move on and find someone that will give me the love, respect and attention that I need.”  This dialogue can go and on and on forever so let's cut to this wild goose chase and get straight to the point.

A man’s definition of beauty is not only in the way you can swing those hips when you walk on by in those 6’ stilettos, or is it exposing your voluptous cleavage, nor is it how much junk you’ve got in your trunk but it’s simply in the way you communicate with him.  Acting off your emotional rage can make you look so unattractive to a man.  Do y’all ladies, get what I’m saying? 

Yes, it makes you look like an ugly, sour puss that the man only wants to get as far away from you as he possibly can every chance he gets and wishes that you would let that beast of hostility lay to rest (R.I.P.).  Need I say more?

“But he is the problem; if only he would………instead of doing...............”    “Who, me, you really think I’m the problem?”  
Of course not Hun, the problem is this “there will always be problems but the problem is not the problem, the real problem is how you choose to handle the problem.”  Did that make any sense at all?  I hope it does but what I’m reinforcing is this:

Try to keep your negative emotions at bay and you will see that not only will there be a shift in your relationship but the things and feelings you bury deep inside your being will no longer have direct impact on your response to certain situations when they arise.

I am not trying to implicate that we shouldn’t deal with our emotions but like everything in life, there’s a need for moderation and we don’t necessarily have to put on a show in displaying this negative behavior to our spouses either.  If you think about it, who really wants to spend time with a woman who is an emotional loose canon or constantly nagging about all her insecurities, fears and unrest, especially about the relationship which the two of you are cultivating together?  Don’t you think it will make him depressed and feel as if the relationship is a failure because he can’t make you happy?  Then, what?  Most certainly, he will find an escape because his logic is to rid himself, you and the relationship of this toxic demeanor. 

So you see ladies, negative emotions damages the one thing you want to have or save the most because you fail to control your emotional uncertainties, you allow fear and worry to overtake your mind and when you finally identify your destructive behavior, you go even deeper into it and BAM, the inevitable happens.  Meanwhile, something that could have blossomed into a good thing slowly subsides right in front of your eyes and you are left with the what ifs, woulda, coulda, shoulda.

 Don’t allow this to happen to you.  Relationship is about learning and growth.  Yes, sometimes we need to know when to fold ‘em, when to walk away and when to run but for the most part, the demise of any relationship began with two people with a common bond, having the same goal but they did not take the time to learn or grow together.