3 things to do to improve your relationship (marriage)

We all strive to be the best we can be in school, jobs and in our social circle but why do we neglect the most important role of all, being a great spouse?  People have literally spent most of their lives practicing perfection in how the world sees them; nurturing their gifts and talents but to no avail most have failed in relationships.  Speaking of relationships it’s funny how couples even work hard to master the art of certain sexual moves and or positions but fail to master the science of keeping their relationship and mate together.  “Maybe we are not programmed that way after all,” I often wonder.  Can you imagine a world where all relationships are in perfect balance and everything just seemed to be smooth sailing?  It’s quite obvious that there would be no need for potential growth as an individual or the wholesomeness that everyone seek in a relationship. 

I figure that since we can’t seem to get it right why don’t we just try to work through all the ups & downs by knowing how to pick our battles and enjoy ourselves and each other as best as we can while we’re at it.  Picking your battles is not choosing what to fight about with your man but rather making a conscious effort to overcome the hurdles in your relationship.  On a more personal note there is also the importance of knowing how to maneuver yourself when facing obstacles: you can either go around them, over them, underneath or knock them down.  Here are three tips that will help to solidify your relationship:

Tip #1 Reconnect with yourself

When it comes to relationships we all fall short of knowing how much of ourselves we need to invest and when things doesn’t happen according to planned, we lose a sense of self.  The good news is that this loss is not only temporary but it’s a manifestation in the mind.  Women tend to think very negatively of themselves and feel the need to take the blame for every unfavorable outcome even when things were out of their control.  One word to remedy this is to just “STOP!”

Instead of acting on the assumptions of knowing what it is that men look for in women, commonly, a mind, body, and spiritual connection; try to know your own mind, body and spirit first.  Please bear in mind that establishing a whole hearted connection with a man on all those levels mentioned doesn’t seal the deal and guarantee you the ultimate connection in becoming a hot item.  Neglecting to find that divine way to his heart will only leave you as good company (mind), a sex buddy (body) and a deep friend without an emotional bond (spirit).  He can only connect with you if you are connected to yourself.

Tip #2 Learn how to express your feelings

I have personified the meaning of speaking what’s on my mind freely and failed to realize that there’s much more power in the tongue than there is in silence.  Expression through the use of words can strengthen or weaken the bond between couples if the choice of words is taken into consideration.  You also give life to everything that is uttered so use caution in what is spoken on your life, your spouse and your relationship.  Try not to be too critical or bitter either because you will only increase the gap between you and his heart.

In other words, speak words that bring life and uplift and that will definitely draw him closer.  If you learn to sort through your emotions before you speak about your feelings, you will realize that by the time you express your feelings to your spouse, the hormones have subsided and whatever you say will make sense to him because there’s no screaming and cursing involved (big turn off to a man).

Tip #3 Create a connection with him that will make him “head over heels” for you

Men are more emotional than the beasts we had in mind.  You can transform your relationship and develop a greater sense of intimacy when you know how to develop a healthy connection with him.  Feeling confident will help you to keep calm; a sense of empowerment through independence and being comfortable in your own skin will rekindle his interest to please you and make you happy. 

Feeling good about yourself will make you feel beautiful and he will grasp this which will increase his desire for you.  Practicing independence here ladies is not about making that paper and giving off the misinterpretation that you don’t need a man but it involves creating a life of your own and making him want to steal your time and attention at all times.  Remember they love to be in pursuit so don't make yourself too readily available or give the impression that anything goes.  Keeping yourself busy also will not give off any messages that you are clingy.

No matter what phase your relationship is in this very moment, remember to say and do all the right things, be calm, practice self-confidence and keep the connection with your man; watching it grow stronger and stronger over time.  “Faith without work is death” my friends.  It is also wise to not sweat the things that's already in the past; learn from them; fight for the stuff that's big enough to matter and small enough to win; plan for the future and take it one day at a time.  Bottom line, choose ya battles wisely!