7 Signs that tell you are being “Used” in your relationship

How can I be “used” when I am being looked at as marriage material?  Do spouses have intentions of using one another in relationships, especially in marriages?  Why would someone go that far as to legally bounding themselves in a relationship (marriage) for their own personal benefit? 
These are but a few questions surrounding the issue of being exploited by the one you supposedly love and who should love you in return.  The institution of marriage poses so many idealistic requirements of an exchange of unconditional love, trust, communication, understanding etc. but people seem to adhere more to the fringe benefits and idea of seeking a greater purpose in getting whatever it is that they want at the expense of the unsuspecting spouse’s vulnerabilities.

Rule of thumb-if you begin to feel and think that you are being used by your spouse, chances are it is so; women oftentimes ignore their ‘gut feeling’ which is also known as a woman’s intuition.  As for men, I can’t really say what they feel or experience but I’m quite sure that there is some logic that they go by.  These kinds of relationships are usually like a ticking time bomb so when the detonator is engaged that’s the moment of realization of what has unfolded and the unsuspecting spouse is now fully engaged.  Sometimes it’s a tad bit too late so you hide behind a shield of denial.

When your partner have mastered the art of persuasive chitter chatter and their actions cannot seem to match up with what they say, especially if they are advocating for something that they need or want, and anticipate but have you believe that It’s solely for your own benefit and not their's.  A typical example would be your partner coaxing you to purchase a standard automobile (gear shift) instead of an automatic, being fully aware that you have no experience at all.  They work earnestly to convince you that they will even voluntarily teach you how to drive the car and how it would benefit you both.  However, after you had purchased the car and you don’t know how to drive it; surprisingly, you have to beg for lessons because  he/she has become too busy.

Be reminded also that “Users” don’t come with a stamp on their foreheads or a resume highlighting such an incriminating ability so use caution and discernment when faced with unusual circumstances indicating that your spouse or potential spouse is rationalizing about how much they do for you or can do for you when you are sure that they are patronizing you.  Frequently, when men are in pursuit they will overtly pose themselves as having much more mullah than they can even obtain to impress upon your mind that they can afford to take care of you financially.  Or they’ll simply try to convince you after you realize that they are a fake that they have done so much towards the betterment of the relationship or you for that matter.  The point is they have to convince you that they are added value because they don’t view themselves as “Users.”

It’s also a great idea to examine yourself and your situation when your partner or potential partner is too flattering.  Flattery is one of the most deceiving methods to overthrow your focus and possible suspicion of their hidden agendas.  A ‘smooth talker’ knows very well that he will choose his words very wisely to spiral the connection you share to a head-over-heels situation.  Since most women appear to have lack of self-esteem and self-confidence embedded in their genetic makeup, it only makes it so much more an effortless endeavor for a man to slither his way through her cranial activity.

Steer clear of casual relationships and people who have recently exited a relationship (rebounds).  We are well aware that people tend to soothe themselves from the hurt of past relationships in casual relationships or rebounds.  There is no deception here because more than likely a guy/girl will make their intentions clear but we all know what happens when one party subconsciously forgets this known fact and allow their feelings to get out of control.  Failure to adhere to my suggestions will result in you experiencing emotional hurt and the other party feeling no remorse or regrets whatsoever because they knew exactly what they wanted, how to get it, scored, and now free of any obligation to even provide an explanation when a break presents itself.  Yield to these kinds of affairs!

Entertaining the Ex-factor-it’s apparent that people resort to a ‘breakup’ because there are unfavorable conditions surrounding a relationship and they found the only possible solution.  Use extreme caution with the Boomeranging Ex-they appear, disappear and reappear on their own terms; sometimes it may even seem as if they return just at the right time when you are experiencing some vulnerability and somehow feel that you need them.  This is an open door for activities such as late night, for old times sake booty callings.

Lastly but not to say the least, don’t forget that a relationship is a mutually fortifying agreement between two people.  If you have any idea that your partner is gaining and you are always hopelessly suffering a loss, if I’m not mistaken that’s “Using” in full effect.  The most common acts of exploit is the need for a place to live, getting a job etc.; the most obvious of ‘em all is the constant need for money.  Of course a trusting partner will be unsuspecting of being used because they believe in the concept of shared values.  Isn’t this the biggest assumption made in relationships and the most costly mistake in life?  

Women assert themselves with the idea of “standing by their man” and men will also feel obliged to making their woman feel special at whatever cost in their relationships.  I cannot say that these two attributes are wrong, however, if the rule of reciprocity is totally ignored then we can see a partner taking full advantage of the other.  Hence,  the unsuspecting partner will become a victim suffering from having their life literally sucked out of them then when their resources seem to dry up; they are no longer needed and the exploiter will either leave, stray from the relationship or just be mean to the targeting spouse if it’s a marriage situation and an immediate exit is not possible.