3 Reasons why Women sacrifice themselves in unhealthy relationships

Often times I feel like women sacrifice too much to be in intimate relationships.  We sacrifice our family, children, friends, jobs etc. and even our livelihood to be in a relationship that is full speed ahead to nowhere. 

I have heard that there is a shortage in finding a man so could that be the reason for a woman to give more than she will ever receive?  Or maybe it’s because we are too picky to find “the one” that we are forced to deal with “what’s-left?” Better yet this is by far my favorite, women have a shelf life so after your expiration date you are just stuck with what you already have or what you might possibly find.  I really don’t know how to try to understand this selfless, senseless undertaking so I question issues of our upbringing, sexuality and worth. 

“A woman’s worth under any circumstances

 should not be measured by quantitative amounts

or in relation to a man’s expectation.”

Believe it or not I believe that females put too much pressure on themselves than they do on men because there is a misunderstanding on matters of needs and identifying with values.  In a previous blog where I expressed how malnourished I was in my relationship and it was in part of me not fully understanding my own needs and values.  After time has eloped and some painful memories followed, I began to realize that I am not a victim of my circumstance.  I had to make a choice to demand that my needs are met or I would have to make some rearrangements in my life.  Sure enough I am still a work in progress but I must say that change came about if not in anyone else, it showed in the way I now choose to live, be treated and the things that I am willing to tolerate.  This is by far an easy endeavor especially when you live to match up to being the standards of the “good girl” character which is popularly known also as the “doormat.”  When women can finally identify how much they are really worth to a man, then there will be no need for unhealthy relationships and the depletion of her self-esteem.

Sexuality also plays a key role in the undermining of females in heterosexual relationships and funny enough I have seen the same trend in homosexual relationships (lesbians).  I am referring to the girl on girl union where one mimics the male role in the relationship.  Shims (She-him) as they are called is a girl who pretty much takes on the demeanor of a guy in a homosexual relationship. 

“I have observed various demeaning similarities

 between a shim and a hetero guy

such as hunter-prey characteristics displayed in men

and the willingness to be unfaithful.”

Unfaithful men (serial cheaters) are always on the prowl of picking up random chics and so does most shims.  Despite the fact that genetically shims are females, they have somehow adapt to this male behavior without the hormones and plumbing so it makes fair to say that cheating is indeed a learnt behavior thus it should not be tolerated.

Hence, females should not subject themselves to be treated any less than they are whether in a homo or hetero relationship because allowing someone to feel justified in their actions to mistreat you is like a suicide mission to kill who you are and ever will be as a person.  Sexuality in itself is just a coded component (plumbing fixtures) to differentiate man from woman, therefore it should not be a measure to undermine or  bolster anyone self-esteem.

In addition, the damage is already done at home so how can we turn back the hands of time?

I am referring to our upbringing as the social arena or center stage where behaviors and expectations are already molded into beliefs.  Children will always live what they learn and vice versa and let’s not forget that children turn into adults so our adults today will be as responsible and conscientious as the adults before them.  The message here is that mothers and fathers are both key players in the futuristic behavior and expectation of their sons and daughters.  Thought I was going to address only females right?  But who would I be kidding?  The same way Mom treats Dad and vice versa will be the same way lil Annie and lil Timmy will be when they are old enough for intimate relationships and lets not forget lil Johnny and lil Simone who also witnessed Mom’s or Dad’s deceitful, and unfaithful behaviors in extramarital affairs.

 Grown women should not need anyone to point out the obvious that they are willing to give more to a man than he will ever return to her, therefore, it’s by choice and not force that she will also decide to fight for a relationship that comes without any fringe benefits.  When you all have decided to go work for a company for free then this endeavor will all make sense.  There are principles to live by and it should not be at the expense of anyone.  Relationships should be built and grounded on principles of mutual respect and trust; anything else is mediocre and foolish, its just that simple.

 Feel free to share your thoughts.