Sex: play or plight?

“If my husband is doing it then chances are the next person is going to do it, right?”  “All men cheat and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
  Don’t we all at some point, especially in an unhealthy relationship entertain that thought?  It is believed that men cheat to fulfill some sexual desires that they are not getting from their female counterpart.  Most times women are more than willing to fill their fantasies and desires but we definitely don’t want to be judged.  Being the #1 lady comes with a lot of responsibilities and equal expectations as well.  Therefore, mommy dearest will not strive to become "Super Head."  We are well aware that men need a lady all around but they also want a freak in bed.   Instead of exercising some patience and thought, men cop out, always taking the easy way out thus resorting to cheating. 

With this comes a level of Fear in sharing oneself on a deep level so we erect a wall around our hearts as protection.  Ignoring the signs of infidelity (red flags) is far from easy but the benefit  allows us to feel in control since we can deny all our feelings of hurt on command; with or without thought.  There is also Fear of being vulnerable with someone else.  “As long as I safeguard my feelings by not giving myself 100% to my partner intimately because he is being fulfilled elsewhere; I am in control.”  “So much so that in the end she can be with another a dude with no strings attached.”   Besides all the shared sense of fear, a woman is faced with intimacy issues towards her lover.

Intimacy will fade due to continuous cheating habits and fear of STDs.  Not only is there growing exhaustion from the numerous trips to the doctor to get treated for STDs but the discomfort that comes with it, is a big turn off from having sex altogether.  As if those occasional yeast infections, UTIs, PMS and menstrual cramps weren’t enough to bear.  Any form of itching, burning sensation, unusual odor and discharge, are every woman’s nightmare.  Sometimes unusual levels of chemicals or hormonal imbalances in the vaj-jay jay, can cause mild irritations and if ignored; can roar its ugly head into having a female think they are under attack by some STD.   

Ladies, how many times can you recall attacking your mate and accusing them of an infection?  It is almost like paranoia.  Due to his known sexual immoral behavior, he will be the scapegoat responsible for any changes in our bodies especially the area where the ‘biscuit’ lies.  This is such a sad dilemma because fear unset unwanted arguments and accusations, which takes all the fun out of love making. Every act now is done with caution and care: doubling up on condoms, no kissing on the lips or tongue tied ones are almost nonexistent.  These reviling acts of kissing, sucking and f#*@ing makes cunnilingus an unloving, insensitive ploy.  If men would begin to realize that sticking their meat every and anywhere with no regards for safety precautions, only result in an ever increasing void; they would start thinking with their bigger brain.

It’s not that the trick or chick on the side is more fun and exciting but you can actually get taken care of at home. It might not be as intricate and skillfully done but it sure can be much more fulfilling and desirable.  The same way you want to please your lady, is the same way your highness would like to cater to her King. But how is that possible when you are channeling all your energy and attention elsewhere?..............to be continued