3 Things to do to Disarm a heated argument

More than too often females experience the wrath of a man's actions or uttered words that was due to their insensitive, neglectful or abusive nature.  In response, we are left in awe or total shock, possibly thinking how these men can be so cruel and numb to someone they claim they supposedly Love.  No need to question why they do this but try to place focus on how to respond when you are faced with these shocking revelations.  I believe that confrontations are great because you not only get to clear the air but you give yourself a chance to be heard.  Nonetheless, we all know too well the challenge that exists between us and the guys when deliberating about feelings and our voice being heard.  Instead of focusing on how loud we must be, let’s direct some attention on just getting the point across and be understood.

I am going to share 3 basic ways to make him not only hear you out but understand what you are saying too.  I used to be very passive aggressive especially when dealing with my husband until I realized that I was doing more damage to myself and the perception I have for my relationship with him than actually dealing with issue at hand correctly.  Y’all know the feeling when you find a number written with lipstick on a napkin in his pocket, lipstick stains on his shirt, or better yet that seductive text message that sends you right over the edge.  It can be a numbing experience as well as a moment of uncontrollable stammering-the words just can’t seem to come out.  I have felt steam coming out of my ears to the point where I would believe that my brain was on fire trying to process what I’ve seen or heard that was so hurtful.

We are all taught at an early age not only to be expressive but to speak up for ourselves.  It can be quite challenging at times but it will get easier with time and much practice.  The first tip is to show him how you feel without even uttering a word; allow your body to do all the talking without lifting a finger or attempting any karate moves.  Shake, Shiver, Quiver etc., let the body do whatever it is that it wants to do to give you a release from what you have ingested about the situation.  It will come as a surprise to him or frightening for some since this kind of reaction will never be expected.  If he’s mature enough he will embrace your more feminine side and appreciate you more for revealing that part of you. We don’t have to act tough like we got it together all the time.

Welcome a more relaxed feeling by placing your tummy into your hands.  (Clearing my throat) Now ladies let that pooch all hang out in the palm of your hand; there’s no need to suck it in right now.  For those who are blessed with a flat stomach, lay your hand on your belly and feel the comfort of relaxing any stiffness.  Better yet for those who are more daring, lay face down, flat on your stomach on the ground-outside is much more suitable because you get to share a connection with Mother Earth that is indescribable.  The goal here is relaxation and giving yourself the opportunity to assess the situation before you speak.

The last tip is almost like standing down on a heated situation.  Just try to convince yourself to say “It’s Okay;”  I don’t want to give the impression that you should be a wimp or a softie but by telling yourself that it’s okay, you are allowing yourself to not get heated and discombobulated over a situation that will turn from bad to worst in seconds if you resort to arguing and fighting.  Arguments can turn ugly in matter of seconds but with these 3 tips, you recollect yourself and thoughts and calmed yourself to a point where your man is more than happy to listen to you and find a basic understanding of how you are feeling. 

If this is not the most effective way to communicate with your man, I really don’t know what else to write so challenge yourself to feel saddened, hurt and upset without diverting anger into a situation where there’s no clarity or maximum achievement in letting your voice be heard.